• me: *sleeping in my bed when suddenly my phone goes off--le ignore and continue to sleep*
• phone: fucking beep beep motherfucker you've got a voicemail
• me: mrehrehrg *opens voicemail*
• voicemail: alicia this is ur mom. if u d0n't tell m3 where u r i am goin 2call the police that is all
• me: waddafuq *walks into the next room*
• mom: where the hell have you been
• me: i was sleeping
• mom: it's 2 in the afternoon. you're not nocturnal
• me: a wizard is never nocturnal. s[he] sleeps precisely when s[he] means to
• mom: u r gr0unded

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So BASicallY William Shatner and I had a heartfelt discussion about his Bo0ty today on twitter

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Bitch got swag 4dayz

2

okay so one of my facebook friends literally just posted a picture of him getting ready to do coke

waht

can u be m0re stupid pls

7

me right now:

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everyone:

I’m not going to be blogging much for the next few weeks because I have so many papers to write and books to study. I’ll fatten up my queue so there will still be many lolz to come. Good luck with your finals, everyone!

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when youre eating something and someone asks to have some

• my roommate singing along to 'Holly Jolly Christmas': it's a herpy derpy Christmas, and everyone is derp

so apparently if you tweet a lot, more people follow you

who knew

science

(Source: megustaaaaaaa)

dat young snow, y’all

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